hell
is when the mind
becomes a desert
and all clouds
bypass.
but for so long
have i wanted
you
to rain on me...
before the sands scatter
and get into my eyes,
blur the vision,
scar the perception of beauty
rain on me..
allow me
to drink you in
to quell the thirst
of a million grains
of desiccated thoughts
won't you rain on me?
let me revel
in the verdure
you would bring to my mind,
and the figment of receding youth.
rain on me.

time and tide and wait..

a tide in love erodes the vocabulary of expressing the pain of the void when absence is the only truth that every waking moment upholds.

manner of the soul

five senses make a human.but when it was raining that night i sensed the air with a sense that doesn't count among the five.it was raining..like it rains at home..a near tropical rain with rumbling clouds and nimble lightning.i could hear nothing but the rain.it fell,splattering;the drops merging into one another;and my whole world sank into a deep wetness as the rain seeped deeper into the pores of the earth,of the leaves and blended into the air.if i could only reach out and melt into the earth,whirl into the wind,sink into the pores of the verdant leaves..if i could only leave this physical existence of mere earthly value..if only i could leave behind this restricting shell of organic composition i could find the self that is real,that is living,that is conscious with more than five senses.a self that knows what the earth feels when rain soaks into her being with all its love,that knows how a flower blooms with the rays of the sun,that resides in a thunderstorm and sees it unfold.the night was meditating like an ancient banyan in the dark,i was resting in its shade not a drop of rain on me,still, i could reach out and get soaked through my soul.and as the senses collected into a supreme consciousness,through a flash of lightning i could see that nothing exists but the soul,and the senses live as rays of light refracting through this prism,and that is how i perceive the world through my senses,and ultimately as my soul perceives it.and that is all that lives and never dies..the soul.

fighting demons

rain after rain after rain..but it keeps raining questions.a thousand faces of life,a thousand lives lived in a moment seems less to live for.maybe we do live a seven lives in each life,because my consciousness keeps drifting between the many states of my self that I inhabit.am I really here or is it just a wave from my sea of thought? a state of being so abstract that I feel merely like an observer of my own life.maybe its this foreign land.I feel so alive when I am home...I see,feel,sense every moment, the joy of existence fills my being to the brim and the consciousness returns that I AM.

The mystical elixir of life in reality lies in the countenance of the mothers,one that gave birth,another that sustains and holds our feet to her ground.

..for life to begin again

unashamed...unpardoned..ungirdled..unfaithful..unforgiven I am..undone.Lost without words through a forest of sense and reality,a pen forgets the paper and a mind forgets the rhythm. Life seems new but living is lost.I come,I see but remain conquered,by the present,by the future..but not by what made my past.One love that brought me up,one love that spoke my heart,sensed my mind,one strength that moved my nerves became evanescent.Where was I?A land where dreams were made and sold and broken by the tides of time and circumstance.I had forsaken the love and forgotten how to love..till now.Something calls me from the abyss of my faintest memories. A couplet at the age of four,a sonnet at the eve of adulthood..a love calls,it rises through the resounding bells of a great cosmic silence,turns into an ether pervading the atmosphere,riding on the air and dissolving in my being with my breath.And this time I am older,the pen has lost itself to the power of human logic,to the keys that still require a human touch to operate! And a non-existant nothingness can be written on,the keys write what a human thinks.The pen sits but the mind works again.It creates again..a few lines but sentences nonetheless.This elixir of youth is not for the aging skin but for a maturing mind. It brings freedom from the rationally irrational world of adults,the idiosyncrasies of adulthood..and thus it has released me into my once existence of a ten year old creating a world of comfort made of rhythm and music.